Summer is here, and that lily-white body of yours will get you nothing but laughs and ridicule on the beach. It's time to do something about that pastiness, and Portable Tanning Machine is here to save the day!

Portable Tanning Machine is the 100-percent safe and non-effective way to get a deep, glistening tan, right on your iPad and iPhone/iPod Touch! The bright, realistic tanning bulbs are the perfect way to recreate the tanning experience, without the expensive equipment and unwanted side effects (like debilitating skin cancer).

FEATURES:

SEE! The authentic fabrication of flickering fluorescent bulbs!

HEAR! The sweet melody of lights and humming machinery!

FEEL! Your device pampering you with gentle, safe LCD light!

FOOL! Your friends into thinking your device can actually emit UV rays!

(NOTE: This application is pure novelty, and you can't really get a tan with your iPhone or iPad. We don't think you can, anyway.)